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Nid help on translating Len's B-fly on Your Right Shoulder

Discussion in 'General' started by xingha, May 10, 2012.

  1. xingha

    xingha Newbie Player

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    Im done with this matter so i re-edited this post. Surprisingly, the animelyrics.com have updated their "Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder" and made it better.
     
  2. xingha

    xingha Newbie Player

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    Re: Nid help on translating Len's B-fly on Your Right Should

    Im just done with Love Words for its nice english translation and now im stuck again in Clover Club this time. Like with Butterfly in Your Right Shoulder, there is a part im having difficulty on which meaning (translation) I will adopt:

    aha kono sekai ga
    kurukuru mawaru yume de
    bokura kidzuiterunda
    minna shiranai furi de


    Aha! This world is
    kurukuru mawaru yume de = the connection between "kururu mawaru" and "yume" is the hard part because it might imply as "spinning and spinning just like in a/my dream" but still im not convince if this is just translated like that
    kuru = to reel, to wind; to come
    kurukuru = like a small spinning object
    mawaru = to turn, to revolve
    yume = dream

    Translators' have "kono sekai ga kurukuru mawaru yume de" as:
    "The world is so big, and it spins around just like in a dream" (http://takeit-home.livejournal.com/13760.html),
    while,
    "This world is in a spinning, spinning world" (http://www.animelyrics.com/game/prdiva2/cloverclub.htm)

    Trying to get its real meaning by trying to translate it by stanza first might solve the problem. At least, thats how i think. Too bad i dont know japanese only some words but not enough to translate a whole sentence. If someone can help me on this, i will appreciate it again. Thx in advance though!
     
  3. odoriko

    odoriko Big Debut

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    Re: Nid help on translating Len's B-fly on Your Right Should

    Hehe, both translations made me smile at the knife part.

    We use "kurukurumawaru" to describe something that continues going round and round nonstop, like the Earth.
    You're just as likely to see the phrase くるくる回る世界.
    And you're right when you think in terms of stanza and not individual sentences. This is a song, every sentence is picked for how it influences the overall meaning of the song, so every sentence affects every other sentence.
    A better translation might be:

    As for the knife part...

    While you might place a heavier focus on accuracy of meaning rather than flavor in normal sentences, for songs I prefer to give priority to the flow of the lyrics. A song tells a story, and at the end of one, I feel that both people reading the original Japanese script and people reading an English translation should come away with the same understanding of that story. How far you can preserve the sentence-to-sentence meaning while still telling the same story is a measure of how good your translation is.

    For this song, it might help you to note that the lyricist has commented before that there are no hidden meanings in the lyrics (in response to queries regarding the knife part). Personally I take it to mean that the images he wants to present are straightforward and should be interpreted per se.
     
  4. xingha

    xingha Newbie Player

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    Re: Nid help on translating Len's B-fly on Your Right Should

    Oh wow nice explanation! I really liked how you translated the "knife" part. It is more clear and understandable rather than the other translations i've seen so far. Thx again!
     

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